The prospect of being involved excites me and scares me. I think the biggest issue is I don’t feel I’m worthy of being loved. Godnose my ex certainly banged that into my head. And, since then, no one has made me feel like I deserve to be loved or are worth being loved.

I was just reading a forum and the subject of fat women came up again, as always. And, of course, there are all these men saying no one is attracted to BBWs and how disgusting they are. And then I hop over to MySpace to answer an email and see my sweetie’s page, full of thin, pretty women ….. and I begin to doubt myself big time.

Yeah, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I know not all men are alike, but it’s still not easy to deal with or accept, or get your hopes up.

My guy (Nick, let’s give him a name) and I haven’t really talked about weight, looks, or anything like that. We haven’t had a whole lot of time to talk about some things. He’s a younger guy with an active social life, I guess,and I can’t expect him to stay home every night and email me or call me. But I also know I crave reassurance. We haven’t really talked about the hair, which is a good thing. I mean, he asked if I was hairy, I asked if hair anywhere would bother him and he said no, and that was it. If he kept on about the hair I’d lose interest very rapidly. I’d like to think it’s the person he likes and the hair is just frosting on the cake. Sometimes cake without frosting is good.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 14th, 2007 at 6:18 am and is filed under Life In General, Men. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.