40 degrees at night, meaning I wake up like a Pammie popsicle. I’m up around 3 every night and by 6 like to take a nap, but it’s just too cold in the living room to nap. Today I have to be up, err, out very early so don’t want to chance a nap in bed.

An issue with not sleeping much means I’m up working more, and thinking more. Lots going on in my head, lots I don’t want to talk about, but suffice to say I’m just in a punk mood. I also need a vacation pretty badly as I’m majorly stressed from so many different things.

I did get rid of one source of stress yesterday by shutting down one of my forums. Too many people acting like children.

Heard from the guy I met last week, or the week before. I’ve told him now 3 times I “felt no connection” but he still insists he wants to hook up and have sex. Yeah, right. How do I say “you did not turn me on” without being rude? Sheesh. He did nothing for me, his personality was boring and he just wasn’t my type.

Then again, only one man in my life has ever turned me on upon meeting. He was the man of my fantasies right in front of me. Part of me kicks myself for not exploring more with him. It was the first time in my life someone turned me on with simple touches like holding my hands and stroking my fingers. And, he was such a good kisser I kept thinking about how much more pleasure his mouth could give me. I guess if he turned out to be a good guy it would have worked out, but he had to lie and play games.

Spent a lot of time with “the kid” recently and it’s kicking me in the ass as I’m realizing I’m in such a quandry. While I’m physically attracted to younger guys like him, I just can’t deal with some of the immaturity. He’s a mature kid but still … Emotionally I’m attracted to older men and that fact was proven to me even more in the past month. Sometimes I wonder if I know what the hell I want.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 18th, 2007 at 3:10 am and is filed under Life In General, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.