Home from the second laser treatment and it was no better than the first, if anything, it hurt more. I’m definitely red and puffy and sore. Joel went with me and I really squeezed the hell out of his hand!

Next one in 4 weeks …. hopefully I’ll see results in a few weeks

Yeah, 9 months ago today was the day I met Joel. Will he remember? HA!

What a bad week this has been. Torrential rains yesterday, and we had to pick up my car from the stereo guy (5 friggin days to install a radio and speakers??) and bring it to the mechanic. This rude moron ignored me. I’m paying the bill, it’s MY car, yet he chose to look at Joel and talk to him and totally ignore me. What, women aren’t welcome in a male dominated world of garage mechanics??? How horrendously rude of him. I supposed if I were blonde with big hooters he’d have paid attention, but fat unattractive women don’t rate on him, even if they’re paying the bill.

I wasn’t in a good mood before that due to something Joel had said on Wednesday. Then I had to deal with the car stuff, then we went to a restaurant that was terrible. Yes, it was a BAD night.

Tonight I have my second laser appt, and I dread it. Oh yeah, it’s working a little and I like that. Emotionally, I’m dealing with it a lot better. Since Joel doesn’t like the hair there anymore, it doesn’t bother me one iota that I’m removing it. I’m dreading the pain. The first time I had it done, I didn’t know what to expect. Now I do, and know how much it’s going to hurt, but I try to think of the end result and the pain only lasts a brief time.

I’ve got a service tech coming in today so have to go put my house back in order. I don’t think he needs to see Joel’s shorts hanging off a dining room chair

Well, the trip was a success, Joel bought yet another vehicle, but since this will save so much on gas, he has no excuse now not to be here every night!!

NY was a trip — horrendously rude people, a drunk breakfast waitress. We could not wait to get the hell out of NY. Connecticut was nicer, the hotel was awesome, the people were friendly and we had a good time. Driving 8+ hours wasn’t bad at all, either.

So, the laser is working. Joel looked closely today and noticed some patches that I can’t see. I don’t know if 20% is gone, I’d say maybe 10%, but I feel good that it’s finally beginning to show. I know that you never get instant results with true laser, because you can’t — the hair follicle is destroyed but won’t just fall out in an instant, it has to grow a bit more and then will naturally fall out. So, I go again this weekend for my next treatment, and will mention how it worked in some areas but all on one side of my face only, so maybe she can work a little harder on the other side.

How was yours? Mine began badly and ended badly …. I got screwed out of yet another vacation. Long story, short version — Joel said we’d go away next weekend, next morning said he was going himself during the week.

I didn’t sleep much this weekend, so much on my mind. This car is costing me a LOT more than I was lead to believe it would, it seems every day something new has to be replaced. I finally got to drive it a little this weekend after Joel replaced the idler arm. I just wish I could drive it more but it will be at least a month until it’s mechanically sound enough to drive.

Something happened yesterday (too personal to discuss) that made me realize just how undesirable I am.

The laser still has not worked other than 4 hairs coming out. Seriously. $90 a hair, huh? At this rate it will cost me $35k to remove them all.

*smile*

I know it doesn’t always work the first time, so I go again next week and we’ll see if this works or not.

Well, the good news this weekend was a cruise night we went to last night with some amazing cars. I saw my first California Special in person, a pretty nice little pony car!

I had a nice hair sighting at a Dunkin Donuts, the girl behind the counter had sideburns and nice hairy arms

Didn’t start out great, but I have to keep remembering I can’t rely on someone else for my own happiness. I’m still an emotional wreck over this laser issue, I think the emotional pain is worse than the physical. I’m dealing with it all alone as I know Bushguy isn’t aware of how I’m feeling. I just have to keep working through it, I guess. It sort of makes it easier knowing he’s not really turned on by it anymore, I don’t feel that bad now having it done.

My pony is at the vet today for some minor stuff and I get to pick her up tonight. I miss her!

Tonight is a cruise night and I hope to get some more pics of classic cars to post on my site. Didn’t even have time to add last week’s pics yet.

Ok, so my stomach is churning the closer it gets to laser time — 5 hours and counting. I can’t stop thinking about it.

Yes, I went for my consultation and I have an appointment in a few weeks to have it done. It was a very hard decision to make, but it will make me happier in the long run, so I’m going for it. Joel will go to the first session or two, then I’m on my own.

The part that bothers me the most is they say it’s painful, and there is no getting around that unless you put on a $70 tube of numbing gel. Nice racket, eh?

I learned a lot though. Didn’t realize that PCOS women have a much harder time with it and have to go through many more sessions than “normal” hairy women, due to our hair growth.

I’ll need probably 8-12 sessions where “normal” women can get it done in 4-6. So, we’ll see.

On the pony front, the car is on the road. Drives fine, though I still need to rebuild the engine, the tranny and something else I forgot about. The brakes aren’t power so Joel got me a power booster and we’ll do the changeover next week. I took some pics of the underside so people can see just how rust free this car is and will post them on another site soon — and will give the URL to people who want to see.

… just really need a hug? I sure have for the past few days *sigh*. This laser stuff really took a lot out of me emotionally, and I don’t think it’s something anyone can understand unless they’ve been through it. I’m still very torn over the decision, partly the pain aspect of it.

I’ve also come to the realization that I have very unrealistic expectations where a relationship is concerned, and I’m just too damned romantic for my own good. I hurt, and I can’t change my feelings like *that* (finger snap sound here).

So, I went for the 5th laser appointment the other night, alone. It wasn’t nearly as painful as the first few times, but they said it’s because the hair is much finer. I can vouch that the hair that has grown back is much much finer and thinner. They no longer rush me out either, they let me sit with a cold towel on my face for as long as I want. $400 per appointment but the next is a freebie, which will be a nice change!

Why are we attracted to specific characteristics in the opposite (or same) sex? I was at the Toyota dealership yesterday, waiting, and a man came in. At a quick glance I’d say he was 6′2″ or so, but I never really checked out his body. I saw his goatee, a gorgeous thick goatee, and was hooked. He also hadn’t shaved the rest of his face in 2/3 days, so had the George Michael look going on. I was utterly fascinated and a little turned on.

I recently received a photo of someone, and he had a beard, one of those 7-beards that’s not really bushy but not George Michael either — in between. That, jeans and a ballcap and I was hooked. That’s EXACTLY the look that turns me on.

Why?

I’ve never been one to fall for looks, and good looking men intimidate the hell out of me, and I never judge anyone on looks. But — why do dark-haired men attract me, why does that George Michael look make me nuts, why do goatees trip my trigger?

I’ve never analyzed why certain things turn me on, as I’m afraid what I may find out about myself.

But — do you ever wonder “why”? Why you like redheads? Why you like bigger breasts? Bigger butts? Hairy bushes? Hairy pits? etc etc etc?